I was at this place where I overheard a group of 10 female friends discussing about their troubles, their marriage, their kids and husbands, and as you know women – they were talking about any and every other topic under the sun :-) Out of the whole 5-hour entertaining conversation that I was a part of (as a silent spectator), I thought of writing about the one that interested me the most. For now, I’m jotting as much as I can before I forget; more to be added as I recall. Enjoy…
Rose: When my husband & I left our kids back home and went to Europe for our 10th anniversary, we fought in the flight, wouldn't look at each other. After a while we thought none of us would enjoy this vacation, so we decided on few rules together. Rule # 1: We will not talk about the kids, about their school, about what they did, about what classes they have to join, etc etc. We have to take a break. Rule # 2: We will not hurt each other's feelings. Rule # 3: We will not bring up any argument that is past 24 hours.
Sarah: Is this possible?
Amy: I think you have to make one decision a day and make sure to follow it.
Rose: Trust me girls, even though we broke the rules after we returned home, but this honeymoon was the best ever.
Sarah: Why are we on this topic by the way?!
Rose: We women need to vent out our frustration. These husbands forget and move on easily!
Lisa: Even crying doesn't help. Sometimes I have to sob louder to catch his attention.
(Everyone giggles and agrees)
Rose: I have these quotes stuck around my room, one of it which says "Pretend to smile, and it will eventually become a habit." So everytime we fight, he brings up the quote and says "pretend to smile!" I get so angry. Even more when he tells me to lower my volume with his hands (showing action). It's so irritating!
Lisa: Yeah, if they talk and argue loud it's fine, but if our tone changes they point it out so quick.
Sasha: There have been times when we were going to some place but argued on the way and returned home midway.
Rose: Actually you should not return. When you go where you're going, the fight ends and you guys forget about it. See how we all fought before coming here, but after being around so many people all the matters were left behind.
Sarah: I guess having people around helps. May be that's why families that stay together in India are more successful.
Tara: Yeah, because you are so busy with everyone and don't give enough attention to husband, then when you go to him at night he welcomes you warmly.
Lisa: This time when his parents came to stay with us for 3 months, I think those were the best days ever. We hardly fought. Initial years of marriage we argued a lot about families and relatives, but over the time I think we began to understand the certain ways the people just are. For example, his parents believed in buying and living with just as much needed, no extravaganza. So before they came here, he told me to keep my 10 pairs of footwear and watches away before they see it. I stashed them all in a bag and had only a pair of slippers for the entire 3 months! But he was very happy that I took good care of his parents the whole time, and he still appreciates it a lot.
Rose: Our fights after marriage increased more after having children.
(Everyone agreed in unison)
Tara: Sometimes the kids create fights between us! Mom said this, dad said that...!
Ivy: Sometimes I tell him that I will be with him only until my son gets married, then I will go away and do some charity work.
Sarah: Earlier I used to tell him that I will take my kids and go away, but now I say I will go away and you take care of kids yourself!
Rose: This is a good idea! I think this way our husbands will never leave us if they will have to take care of kids on their own!
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* Names changed to protect identity.